Jesus Christ this motherfucker eats like a slobbering dog. No. No. Dogs make far less noise.
I can hear his cheeks flap when he slurps down sunflower seeds. He has so much saliva in his mouth it sounds like tidal waves crashing into his teeth.
He can't even fucking eat quietly.
THE FUCK
...
SERIOUSLY THE FUCK
How do you go through 18 years of life without learning how to eat without sounding like a savage? "Quit making a din with your dinner!"
It makes me want to tape his mouth shut and keep him nourished intravenously so I don't have to hear his fucking mouth chewing up and down, up and fucking down and christ in FUCK at least clean up the shells of the fucking seeds you toss on your side of the god damn floor you ASSHEAD
... yep. school's back.
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